A Thousand Thunders – The Life and Writings of Sergeant Jacob Shively (and me).

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“I have often heard it said that no pen could describe the battlefield in time of action.  And I can now say I have experienced it and I know one cannot have an idea scarcely of a battle unless they have seen one.  A thousand thunders are not equal to the sound – and the shouts of the charging columns, the shrieks and groans of the dying and wounded – it appears like they will never cease to ring in my ears.” 

Jacob to his wife after the battle of Chickamauga in September of 1863

I hate war.  

In October 2020, I kissed my wife and kids goodbye for six months.  

It wasn’t our first rodeo – so it wasn’t as difficult to get our “stuff” together. While we’ve found each time of war-induced separation to be unique, some things are the same – we signed newly minted powers of attorney, and I made sure my wife had ready access to important documents. The day before I left, I discretely pointed out the location of my Last Will & Testament – I think my exact words were, “And there’s that” (there’s no good way to remind your wife of the location of your Will as you leave for the Middle East).

I’m a chaplain – representing divinity in the midst of a system that alternatively represents man’s worst and best (killing and self-sacrifice).  I live, eat, and sleep with warriors while deployed.  I ensure the free-exercise of religion for our nation’s warriors so that they might be better fit to fight.  I don’t pick up a gun, but I do pick up Airmen and point them towards hope in times of darkness.  I increase their lethality by helping them deal with their morality and mortality (among other things).  

It’s not a sterile job.  Jacob saw more death and carnage than I have, but I’ve seen more than my share.  I know night terrors; there is no delete button for the smell of human decay and the sight of mangled remains of war dead.  I walked out of the front door of Air Force Mortuary Affairs for what I hoped was the last time years ago, but I’m still on my journey home from that experience.  

Jacob found me when I needed him, 107 years after he died.  I began transcribing his letters in earnest in 2017 and have worked steadily on reconstructing his story ever since.  

Jacob buried his sister’s brother-in-law, Levi Henness (37 years old) outside of Marietta, Georgia on 20 July, 1864 during the Battle of Kennesaw Mountain.  He saw Levi die.  The musket ball that killed Levi entered his face and lodged in the back of his head.  Levi’s last word was, “Oh.”  During the impromptu battlefield burial that followed, the presiding chaplain (Chaplain Shinn) was struck in the foot with a spent round.  The burial continued.  Sometimes I feel similar to Jacob’s chaplain at that burial – an observer who is not just touched, but struck in ways others aren’t. 

My kids giggle and roll their eyes when I tell the Shively story to yet another person.  One of my children has a running tally on the number of times I say his name.  But that’s OK.  His story has been a healing balm for my own internal wounds.  

After Jacob’s unit was decimated at Chickamauga he wrote to his wife, Mary, “I have often heard it said that no pen could describe the battlefield in time of action.  And I can now say I have experienced it and I know one cannot have an idea scarcely of a battle unless they have seen one.  A thousand thunders are not equal to the sound – and the shouts of the charging columns, the shrieks and groans of the dying and wounded – it appears like they will never cease to ring in my ears.”   

I’m quite sure they never did. 

I’m only midway through my military career and have already taken some “soul wounds” – and I’d be naive if I don’t expect more to come.  I hate war, but I love serving our warriors.  The pain is worth the joys and opportunities.  I’m so thankful I haven’t had to walk this journey alone.  I’ve always been surrounded by my faith community, family, friends, and God’s unrelenting love.  More recently, Jacob has joined me on my journey.

Jacob lived a full life after the war.  He channeled his energy into his family, farm, church, and committees that constructed memorials for his comrades-in-arms who didn’t return home.   I’m forever in the debt of family members who have safeguarded these amazing letters over the last 155 years.  These letters, along with the pieces of his story I’ve been able to resurrect from the obscurity of the years through other resources, provide a vivid reminder of the humanity of our warriors.  Jacob’s writings also prove that each of our nation’s war-wounded can find hope and healing from the thousand thunders that ring in their ears long after the noise of war has ceased.

-Chaplain Kevin Hostettler, 15 August, 2021

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